


The Heart beats only once

by Crazycatlady89



Category: Popular (TV)
Genre: Confessions, F/F, Hurt, Lies, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 09:31:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6561088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazycatlady89/pseuds/Crazycatlady89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just before Brookes accident on Prom night Sam disappeared without saying goodbye. Three years later she's back in LA ready to face what really happened on all those years ago, but is Brooke prepared to stir up the past? And will she be able to overlook Sam's transgressions so they can move forward?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Work Related temptations

The shutter clicked thrice in rapid succession.  
"Lift your left arm a little higher"  
The model complied, her lips pouting slightly, indicating that she was unused to being corrected. "Relax your lips"  
"Take the snake away again" The photographer called and a khaki-clad man stepped in removing the constrictor that wrapped lazily around the woman. She smiled at the man when he lifted the indifferent creature off her and he coloured visibly.  
After a few more shots the photographer called for a change in set and handed her camera to a nearby assistant. She wanted to speak to the model but hair and makeup people were already crowding her, transforming the dark beauty into a white angel.   
Her black eyeliner was quickly reduced to a fine line around the eye and partially smothered in sparkling white eyeshadow that arched dramatically towards her hairline.   
Within ten minutes the fiery brunette became a frosted angel, thick pink lips coated in icy blue, skin white as marble accentuated with blue rouge iridescent glitter. Her walnut eyes layered with a pale blue contact and a striking silvery white wig completed the absolute transformation. Brooke could barely recognize that headstrong brainy girl she went to highschool with. The girl who always dressed like she was about to audition as feminist protester number seven.

It must have been three years or more since they last talked.

Brooke knew what Sam had been up to though, the whole damn world knew that. After graduating Sam went on a three month road trip through India where she witnessed a horrible event, a mass murder of pakistani families.   
The story made it into all the big papers but it was the pictures of Sam looking so young and devastated, not to mention incredibly beautiful, that catapulted her into fame. Hollywood had for a time been the most tempting but Samantha McPherson threw herself at the different opportunities with fervor, slowly transcending from the flavor of the month to a regular all star.  
Brooke wondered how Sam even found the time to keep up her journalism, now in the form of a blog, with everything else she was doing. But watching the brunette now was like watching a natural; her poise and calmness at the situation made it apparent how much had happened in three years.   
Sam's idealistic headstrongness had shifted ever so slightly, Brooke couldn't imagine the old Sam having a team of busy bees crowding her every move like this. She would have found it revolting and undignified.  
The photographer sipped her coffee and observed the set as it slowly turned into a modern winter wonderland, thick white furs and clear glass, sprinkled with so much fake snow it looked the part of a teddy bear slaughterhouse.  
The angel stepped carefully on the fur of a pearly white wolf her face curled into a frown, when she met Brookes gaze she beckoned her over.  
"I hope these are fake" She grimaced but her voice was achingly familiar it seemed to glide into the ear like honeyed silk. "Sit with me" it said in a compelling tone and Brooke complied.  
They waited in silence, Sam stroked the soft white pelt while an airbrush artist stencilled snowflakes onto her skin with an expression of utmost concentration.   
Brooke wanted to tell Sam that the furs were indeed fake, but it had been by chance more than by foresight which would be a hard truth to admit if she pressed the subject. So brooke quietly sipped her coffee and snuck gazes at Sam whose eyes had that dumbstruck look of someone in deep thought. The brunettes eyes came back into focus as she noticed Brookes amusement.  
"Do you often drift off like that? It's pretty impolite" Brooke’s voice was serious but her face conveyed the humor.  
"More often than I'd like" The angels mouth smiled, but the eyes momentarily showed an unfamiliar hardness, making Brooke feel strange and out of place. It reminded her that while she was very much still the same Brooke this was not quite the same Sam that left home 3 years ago, this was someone new and unfamiliar. Build on the foundation of Sam, but for all Brooke knew, the foundation could be little more than rubble. A ruin with a tall wooden tower, crooked and painfully erected with pillars of bad memories and guilty nails.

"These furs made me think about Lily" Sam said. Her fingers nuzzled a corner of the white wolf pelt.  
"Are you still in contact?" Brooke asked, somewhat unsure if she wanted to know. Sam shook her head, “It’s been a long time since I talked to any of the old gang”.  
“You should see them while you’re here”.   
"I was planning on it".  
Brooke only nodded in response.  
Sam nudged Brooke’s shoulder "Mom told me you were doing well as a photographer"  
"I'm doing okay... not as good as you though" She added and winked at Sam who grinned. Brooke didn't think she looked quite as smug as she had before, but it was obvious the brunette was quite pleased with her accomplishments. The only difference between then and now was that it would be kind of hard to blame her for her smugness given how successful she’d been, Brooke would have been quite pleased with herself as well, if she had been in Sam’s shoes.  
"I really hoped I'd get to work with you while i was in town" Sam started...  
"I can't believe you're modelling" Brooke blurted out.  
The brunette touched her blue lips mockingly. Clearly amused.  
"I do a lot of things i never thought i'd do" She fiddled with a loose hanging curl. Her tone made Brooke nostalgic in a way she couldn't really explain, somehow she had anticipated that Sam would have lost that playful side somewhere along the way. That grown up Sam would be all business.  
"You look beautiful, I’m really happy I got to work with you"  
Sam frowned "I don't think white is my color"  
"The eyes are a little bit too much maybe" Sam frown deepened "For everyday use i mean"  
"These are my normal contacts"  
"Oh"  
Sam Smirked "I'm kidding blondie, that whole pretty-lil-milkin-girl thing, thats your routine... I couldn't compete"  
The sight of Sam’s infamous smirk, even with the make up, jolted through Brooke’s body. She hadn't realize how much she missed that smirk.  
"How long are you in town?"  
"Hmm, around 18 weeks i think"  
Brooke didn't know what to say, she wanted to blurt out all these questions, Why are you suddenly back? Why haven't we talked for three years? Do you hate me? Where are you staying? Are you seeing anyone? Why haven't you told me you were coming back?  
Instead she just sat there, silent, until the Set manager snapped her into attention to tell her that everything was ready. Say something!  
"So yeah, if you're here for a while maybe we should have a real family dinner with everyone? If you’re not too busy?"  
"Sure, i'd like that" Sam smiled and reached up her hand to Brooke who was already getting up. Her face was so innocent and expectant, that Brooke called for her to stay and the shoot began in total silence, Brooke waved the handler in and white bunnies ran wild across the set while Sam played with them and acted the cheerful innocent, her demeanor totally changed from the intense character she had played before.  
Brooke had to admire her professionalism. If Sam had been the confident alluring woman in front of her now back in high school she would have ruled supreme. Alluring? Brooke looked through the viewfinder at the girl, her icy blue stare somehow still conveying most of the warmth their normal colour did, her body, slender yet curvy at all the right places made Brookes throat tighten uncomfortably.  
"Are we still shooting?" Sam asked, a slight hint of annoyance in her voice at holding her pose for no reason.  
"No i think that’s a wrap guys, let’s clean up so we can go home" The set blurred into motion, the wonderland quickly getting dismantled while a few bottom feeders started the intense labour of sweeping up the thick layer of fake snow.  
Sam’s team simultaneously scraped the disguise of her and packed down their station into large wheeled cases, every person acting out their tasks with a practised familiarity. The cases traced neat tracks of fake snow through the hall as people started pushing them towards the cargo bay.   
Brooke and her editor Roland sat at a improvised desk previewing the pictures so he could work on them tonight and have the first proofs on the clients table tomorrow.   
"So what is the story with this girl again? She's gorgeous" He leered at a particular revealing photo from the black set "Please tell me that you tapped that. Or that you are at least planning on it"  
"She's my step sister"  
"That is so fucking hot" He tore his eyes from the picture to look at Brooke "So you tapped her while she was barely legal then?"  
"I didn't, as you call it 'Tap that' while she was barely legal"  
"You did something though, that girl was fucking you through the camera" He eyed Brooke up and down a few times "And who could blame her" His eyes flipped back to Sam’s backside.  
"Geez, thanks Roland. That's some compliment"  
"I call it like i see it"  
"Then you should call yourself an idiot because that is what i see when I look at you"  
He grinned.  
"She hated living with me, that’s why she went to India"  
"Ouch" His grin faded "That’s brutal"  
He stood there scratching his beard while she flipped through the rest of the photos, they had so many good ones it would be hard to choose just four or five. After half an hour of sorting they settled on two for their first proofs, an angel cover shot and the horizontal center shot from the black latex set, Roland would edit what he could manage in a night.  
When Brooke went to gather her things she was surprised Sam hadn't left yet. Her team had been the first out the door but now she was taking a lesson on caring for the snake they used in the shoot, the handler was holding its mouth open, pointing out the windpipe, fangs and other specifics while Sam watched and questioned eagerly, clearly fascinated.  
Brooke stalked behind them and listened  
"...Yeah they give birth to live babies, but this fella is just a little one now, once they go big you can't handle them like this anymore"  
"I thought all snakes laid eggs"  
"Not this one no! When..."  
But Sam wasn't listening anymore "Thank for the lesson she said" Patting the young guy on the shoulder, he looked crestfallen when she walked the few steps towards Brooke and led her out into a small kitchenette facing a open terrace. The brunette rummaged through the tiny fridge and pulled out two cans of Coke some poor soul was saving in there, "Do you want cherry?"  
Brooke shook her head, she always hated the synthetic flavoring, Sam smiled and handed the normal can to the blonde.  
"It's my favourite" She gazed fondly at the can "I missed it so much, you can't get this stuff anywhere in Europe" She savored the first sip audibly.  
The silence stretched between them, Sam enjoyed her coke quite satisfied not to be talking, it seemed to her like she and Brooke had spent too much time talking about each other which always led to misunderstandings between them. Being civil had never been so difficult when it was just the two of them together, sadly that hadn't happened a lot in the past, something Sam wanted to remedy.  
"I'm free tonight, if you want to get something to eat and play catch up" Sam drained her coke and looked expectantly at Brooke.  
She should be editing pictures from a private photoshoot she had yesterday but that seemed dull and joyless now Brooke knew that Sam would like to have dinner with her.  
"I'd love that"  
They both grinned.   
"Let me get my things and i'll meet you outside"


	2. A blast from the past

When the tall formally dressed driver opened the door Brooke felt kind of silly, Sam’s car was huge and luxurious and her clothes well suited for a evening out, Brooke felt incredibly common in her skinny jeans and white dress shirt.  
"It's a studio car, apparently it was an outrage nobody had thought of renting a car for me so they lent us this from another set, she seemed kind of embarrassed about it.  
"Thank you Jonathan" she said to the chauffeur when he popped open the door, waiting diligently for the ladies to exit. "Jonathan is a loan as well, he’s an assistant to an assistant of some big shot producer" Jonathan inclined his head graciously when she mentioned his name but otherwise said nothing. "You don't have to be so apologetic about it really" Brooke said and earned a smile, "If I had your money I wouldn't drive anywhere myself" Sam's smile turned rather wry and her voice bitter "If you had people constantly expecting you to live like a millionaire pimp I think you would. I just happen to quite like Jonathan and I think he deserves this job, it's basically 18 weeks off for him, and my actual assistant gets to go home to her family for a while" Jonathan grinned in the mirror "And don't I appreciate it Miss McPherson, won't look bad on my resume at all".  
The restaurant Sam picked was a small Italian place, their parents had eaten there a lot when they began dating, Sam remembered the place when they drove past it and insisted they’d eat there.  
"Sorry if it’s kind of fatalistic taking you here" Sam looked at the cozy entrance "It just feels right, like..." Her brows furrowed and she didn't finish her sentence.  
Brooke knew though, she knew exactly what she meant even if none of them really felt like saying it.

She didn't linger too much on the feeling they were going on a date, but it felt fitting to be sitting here at the very restaurant where their parents sat in the past. Both when they were just getting to know each other and later when deciding if they should ever have any kind of future together. It felt a lot similar to that now, two people trying to decide if they could leave the past behind them in order to have some kind of future together.  
A pudgy italian waiter handed them laminated menus and they ordered a bottle of the house recommended white wine to share, Brooke was delighted to find that talking to Sam was easy, she seemed mature and worldly, it was almost strange to see the idealistic, proud girl who wouldn't break or even bend her integrity for anybody act so normal.

Not that she hadn't been then but something had definitely changed. She felt guilty about how much she wanted to know everything that had happened with Sam, not the movies or the cover shoots or even behind the scene of the around-the-world journalism, she wanted to know why she hadn't come home for three years to see her, or Mackenzie and their parents. She wanted to know how Sam got that shadow behind her eyes that she tried so hard to hide, not through her blog or a spread in vanity fair, but from Sam herself.  
Sam must have somehow picked up on Brookes train of thought because she stopped eating and drained her glass.  
"You seem a million miles away Brooke. Was I boring you?" She smiled but her voice seemed strained.  
"I was just thinking sorry"  
The brunette nodded.  
"I'm glad you finally picked up that habit, it seems like I did some good before I left" Sam had locked her gaze with hers. She was giving her a way in, to talk about their past.  
"It seems like we both picked up new habits lately" She said instead. Idiot.  
Sam nodded again "We have"  
The moment as well as her courage had passed.  
"Brooke..."  
"Yes Sam?" Lost in thought as she had been Brooke’s voice came out low and husky. Sam’s cheeks reddened.  
"I think we should talk... about things" Before I lose my nerve.  
"You mean we should talk about that night don't you?"  
Sam seemed unusually pale even for someone wearing badly removed white foundation. She had kind of hoped to hold off that topic for a while.  
"Prom night? What is there to talk about really?" Sam said uncomfortably.  
"Wha...? Wow. That’s something coming from you" Brooke’s eyes instantly started tearing up and she wiped them angrily with her napkin. "You left that night. Mom told me, that you called her before you left"  
Sam squirmed a little in her seat, refusing to meet the eyes of her half sister. Refusing to watch the countless rerun of the tears that she knew Brooke must have shed so many times after her accident.  
A few of the other guests glanced at them but none of them stared outright and their pudgy waiter turned on his heel and busied himself elsewhere.  
When Sam spoke her voice was tiny, fragile with guilt. "I couldn't see you Brooke"  
She buried her face in the nook of her elbow.  
"I couldn't see you like that Brooke. Knowing I was leaving in the morning"  
"I could have died"  
Sam didn't answer but her breathing gradually lost its raggedness and became more steady.  
"I called the hospital every day to hear how you were"  
Brooke sighed, she didn't want to fight. They spent the majority of their teenage years fighting, and on prom night everything had been ripped away.

Jacqueline Kennedy High – Prom night – Class of '99.

A noisy group entered the already crowded Gym, drawing attention and loud screams from the graduates closests to the front entrance.  
The hall was sparkling with banners and confetti, a typical high school Prom. The only odd feature was a roped off section lavishly decorated to look like a upscale nightclub, much to the chagrin of half its occupants who would have been just as happy on folding chairs and tables with paper tablecloths like the rest of the hall.  
One of the unhappy occupants, a tall scrawny youth his usual spiky hair flattened and styled to match the rented suit, pointed, calling the attention of the others. A loud noise had just erupted from the crowd gathered around the stage, all of whom abruptly stopped dancing and began waving, screaming and catcalling.  
"Oh that must be The Backstreet Boys!" Mary Cherry clapped her hands excitedly "That Brian Littrell better watch out because I'm gonna gobble him up" She pantomimed eating a turkey leg. "I tried to get some of them voodoo priests from like, Haiti or something to raise that there Kurt Kuu-bain Fella you like so much from the dead Sam. But I’m telling y'all that grave is tightly guarded! It was like Fort Knox in there"  
"You tried to raise Kurt Cobain from the dead?" Lily asked.  
"Just for a night lil lils, this isn't some kind of horror show we're trying to tell some real stories here"  
Sam drained the last dregs in her glass and slammed it down into the table "What i want to know is how the hell you were planning on raising him from the dead?"  
Mary Cherry patted her arm in a comforting gesture and nodded knowingly "Don't worry Sam, voodoo ain't for y'all brainy folks.... it’s maaaaagic" She accentuated the word magic with a dramatic gesture and surprisingly, jazz hands.  
Sam raised her eyebrow challenging.  
"I asked my ma if she knew any voodoo and she said that her old nanny down south had all sortsa weird skulls and powders and books about grammar. So i asked Sergio" She waved at the limo driver who was standing a few feet away keeping eye out for nosy teachers "If he would be a sweetheart and pop down there and get her for me" The group stared at Mary Cherry who had stopped talking and was inspecting her nails.  
Harrison motioned with his hand "...and?"  
"And what? She was a darling"  
Carmen rolled her eyes "And what happened? Did you raise Kurt Cobain from the dead?"  
Nicole who had tried very hard to look otherwise engaged hissed "Do you SEE Kurt Cobain anywhere numbskull?" causing Carmen to frown and Lily to narrow her eyes threatingly.  
Mary Cherry clapped Lily’s hand sympathetically "Oh i told you that already darling it was like Fort Knox in there. Poor Nanna, she got ripped to shreds by the guard dogs before she even made it inside. I was terribly upset " She wiped at nonexisting tears with her leopard spotted handkerchief"After that i really didn't see any point in going in myself, I mean I don't know nothing about voodoo, that’s why i brought nanna in the first place"  
The table stared at her in shock.  
"What?"  
Lily looked furious but nobody really knew how to follow that up. Sam finally broke the silence "And you don't feel bad about that at all? A woman is dead"  
"Dead? Nanna ain't dead, she's resting at the hospital’s secure ward right now. I called Sergio and had him report a breaking and entering, poor Nanna, I hope those sexy police officers I saw ain't too hard on her. Mmm love me a uniform"  
Lily interjected "You're letting a eighty year old do hard time so you could reanimate a dead celebrity? What is wrong with you?"  
"Nanna ain't going to jail, when Ma Cherry found out, she marched her lawyer's right down to that courthouse and had her declared senile. Honestly y'all are making it sound like I'm some kind of monster. I was devastated ya know! Thankfully I felt much better after Ma Cherry called me and told me she got the backstreet boys instead!" Her eyes sparkled "Isn't he just a peach?" She stared dreamily at the group of performers looking very much like they didn't know what the hell they were doing at a highschool dance.  
"Indeed" Sam deadpanned.

Their attention was drawn to the dancefloor where people were gathering. Principal Krupps took the podium and called their attention. Josh and Brooke had slipped away for a quick warm up dance and was now conveniently standing in the middle of the floor. When they were announced as king and queen Lily looked alright, she knew Josh was hers in the end, she could spare him for a night so the school could have their king and queen popular.  
Backstreet Boys took the stage and the royal pair took the floor, after their victory dance Josh asked Lily for a dance and Brooke went to sit with the others at their VIP table, Mary Cherry had insisted on a VIP table for bringing in the band and the school reluctantly complied. Nosy teachers constantly glared in the direction of their roped off section, but Sergio’s menacing stare held them off.

After a few songs Sam had excused herself and snuck out the backdoor. There she lit a cigarette, each hoarse drag brought her a little more back to reality and away from the baffling display inside the gym.  
The light mood and friendliness of the evening had infected Sam as well, but the fruity punch turned sour in her mouth from guilt, she hadn't told anyone that she was leaving tomorrow.  
Brooke chose just that moment to burst through the backdoor dry heaving and fanning herself.  
"Little too much to drink there Prom queen?" Sam asked sarcastically.  
Thankfully Brooke had attuned herself better to Sam's occasionally snarky tone and didn't pay it any heed. "I just saw the most vile thing I ever seen in my life"  
"Let me guess, April Tuna is wearing a polyester onesie?" Sam jested.  
Brooke laughed. "I think she might be...Are you smoking?"  
Sam looked at her cigarette before lifting it to her lips "Bad habit. Never told anyone. About it before" She threw the finished cigarette into a nearby puddle.  
"So why are you telling me now?"  
"Because I'm leaving tomorrow" Sam’s eyes searched Brooke and found that the girl had frozen in place "It doesn't matter if anyone knows now"  
"Why?" Brooke’s heart was clenching painfully, she wanted to scream at Sam for not telling her before, weren't they supposed to be friends now? Not to mention, almost, sisters! How could Sam do this to her! now while everything was going so well.  
"I thought they would get all preachy about it"  
Brooke flicked her temple. "What? No. I meant why are you leaving?"  
"I can't stay here Brooke, not with mom and your dad... and the baby" Sam looked away "And you"  
"I thought we were getting along"  
"We are"  
"Then you shouldn't go, things are finally getting good here Sam" The blonde grabbed her hand "Please"  
Sam shook her head. "I can't Brooke, I know you don't understand, but I’m dying here" She squeezed Brookes hand "I need to get away for awhile, experience something"  
"Okay" Her brows furrowed, for three years they had been judging each other, trying to control each other. At some point it would have to end.  
Sam raised her eyebrow "Really?"  
Another squeeze, this time Brooke’s "Yeah".  
"You look beautiful Brooke" Sam didn't hide her admiration for once and the blonde blushed deeply, thankful for the cover of darkness. "Thanks"  
The silence stretched on neither girl comfortable revealing more of themselves even at the brink of separation. Only the occasional flare of Sam's second cigarette glowed brightly when plump pink lips drew in a smoky breath, briefly airing it to life "You never told me what was so vile". The sky swallowed the body of Sam’s voice making it tiny in the vast expanse of the open space above them.  
The door burst open as another graduate sought the soothing evening breeze. Sam face went rigid when she saw who the intruder was.  
"I been looking all over for you Brookie, i thought you went to get your eyes bleached after watching Principal Krupps and Bio getting it on. If I hadn't brought tequila I would be slitting my wrists with the rest of the social rejects in there" Nicole said in a slurred voice.  
Nicole finally seemed to notice Sam and eyed her disapprovingly. "Sorry Sir, we don't have any change" she said to the brunette.  
Sam glared at her, pulling deeply on her smoke and stepping forwards, her face inches from Nicole's. She exhaled, "Fuck off Nicole"  
The shorter girl didn't wince, her voice laced was with malice when she spoke "Smoking Sam? Really? Could you be any more tragic"  
"Oh look who’s talking! Do you huff your hair bleach as well or..." Brooke interrupted her "We were just talking Nicole, high school is over, we won the popularity contest, can we please just try and be civil to each other?" The blonde put her hand on Nicole’s shoulder and guided her back inside "I'll be five minutes Nic, seriously, go dance with someone hot"  
Nicole scoffed "Like anyone here is hot" she eyed Brooke and smirked, "Except us" both girls stuck out their hips and touched it with their index finger making a fake sizzling sound. Sam rolled her eyes.  
"Have a nice evening Spam" Nicole mocked before disappearing back into the hall. The backstreet boys appeared to be finishing off their show, the crowd singing enthusiastically with them, even Mary Cherry and Harrison was on the floor screaming Erryyyybody with the rest of the gang. From the glimpse Sam had of them they were having a great time. She didn't want to spoil that happiness tonight.  
Sam had perched herself against the edge of a dingy crate, it creaked ominously when Brooke shifted her weight onto it.  
"They're having a fun huh" Brooke remarked.  
"Yeah they are... I wish we could have been friends like this from the start" She glanced at the blonde "It would have been a lot easier"  
"Would you have stayed?"  
Sam sounded annoyed at the question "No. I might have left sooner"  
Brooke furrowed her brow, that’s not what she wanted to hear.  
"You should go back in before Nicole starts a rumor that I'm seducing you or something" Sam was staring into the pitch blackness beyond, her words trailed oddly into the shadows.  
"Sam"  
"Yeah?"  
"Promise me you won't leave without telling the others, if this is the last night they have with you before you go on your little adventure then they deserve to know it"  
"Yeah"  
"Promise me Sam"  
Sam grimaced "Geez Brooke, i'll swear on freaking girl scout honor, just lay off the stare"  
Brooke’s eyes narrowed "You weren't a girl scout"  
"Okay, fine. Journalist's honor then"  
The blonde shook her hand like they just decided on a formal agreement, but her eyes were still comically narrowed "For what it's worth McPherson"

When Brooke reentered the gym she found the graduates crowded around the stage, clapping and calling to the performers. The band was spread out on the stage the meter high CLASS OF '99 bright behind them, some prom committee genius had haphazardly thrown together a smaller banner beneath it with BACKSTREET BOYS scrawled across it in bold letters.  
Nick Carter stepped to the very front of the stage, silencing the crowd "Alright Class of '99, we partied hard and we partied long tonight. But now. We'd like to go back to the roots and play for you, the all time slow dancin-romancin-depantsin' classic" He turned to the rest of the band and they started humming different harmonies creating the melody for As long as you love me - Pairs were forming as people started slow dancing to the five naked voices ringing through the gym, Brooke watched most of her friends dance with each other and a number of oddly matched couples that looked pretty awkward at the situation.  
She decided that this was the last chance for her to spend time with Sam before she left, and she didn't want to waste it. Two girls can dance and it’s totally normal. She marched back towards the backdoor, fully intending to ask Sam to dance with her.  
When she walked back outside Sam was gone.  
She didn't bother looking for her inside, she knew that Sam wouldn't be there. She walked out into the night to find her car, the other girl couldn't be far ahead, she would find her and march her right back into the gym. Leaving like this wasn't an option.  
Brooke really didn't have the faintest idea how she didn't see the headlights of Nicole’s car when she stepped across the parking lot.  
When she woke up Sam was gone, Jane told her nothing when she asked, neither did anyone else. For ten months Sam disappeared off the face of the planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't that fun?
> 
> The next two chapters are what "really happened" after this flashback, back in the reastaurant with Brooke and Sam, but what if their Prom night had taken a completely different and way sexier turn? Check out my other story First Beat, it is an alternative story route end that ends in smutty smutty goodness. How this ends? You'll have to find out!


	3. Betrayal

Brooke wondered if Sam had just replayed the evening in her head like she had. If she was remembering the promises she broke that night. If she ever worried about her family needing her back home.  
At some point during her contemplations Sam must have called for the bill because the pudgy waiter placed it in front of them and said that their to-go order would be ready in a moment.  
Sam payed cash, when Brooke insisted she should pay at least half the brunette laughed and brushed her off. Somehow the idea of Sam paying with cash was odd but Brooke didn't linger on it.  
Sam was beginning to feel crowded in the small restaurant, several guests had recognized her and even asked for autographs, even though she was sure nobody could really hear their conversation she felt exposed talking to Brooke amongst wide eyed strangers. The brunette grabbed her coat "I've arranged for dessert if you want" She had collected Brookes jacket as well and assisted her in putting it on. Brooke found it kind of odd but flattering.  
Brooke wasn't sure if she should but half a bottle of white wine ment she threw caution into the wind "Let’s go" she said cheerfully, taking Sam’s hand and leading them both out of the toasty restaurant and into the bitter cold December wind.  
Jonathan drove them to a brightly lit hotel in West Hollywood, Brooke expected something a little more classy, considering that Sam must be pretty well off now, her own apartment was just three blocks down, and the neighborhood was less than desirable. The drive had been somewhat lengthy, the presence of another person putting a little distance between them again.  
Thankfully Jonathan quickly bid them goodnight after opening both the car door and the hotel door for them in smooth gracious movements. He looked at Sam with an obvious admiration that annoyed Brooke, someone in his position should be more professional than that, Sam didn’t seem to notice though.  
Sam held a large carrier bag from the restaurant, Brooke wondered what she had ordered for dessert but she wanted to allow the brunette to surprise her.  
Her hotel room was simple, she had nearly no luggage and everything was impeccably tidy, apart from the tiny desk cluttered with papers and a laptop with an open text document clearly visible behind the screensaver. She must have been writing until the last minute before leaving.  
"Have a seat" Sam gestured to the set of plump chairs surrounding the most hilariously small coffee table Brooke had ever seen "I'm gonna pop down to the reception and fix us up some plates" Her eyes flicked to the screen, where tiny bubbles flew around, bouncing off the edges and into each other, she wanted to ask Brooke to control her curiosity but she didn't want to insult her, or give her ideas, she grabbed the keycard and waved it before exiting the room.  
Brooke leaned her head back on the chair, this room smells like Sam, she wondered how long she had stayed here already. In spite of the tidiness it didn't look like she just moved in. Brooke wandered a bit around the room, investigating the few items she found, none of them where personal. It seemed like travelling had further honed Sams practical edge. Brooke amused herself by wondering if the other girl didn't find underwear too superfluous to carry around. That thought made her blush, she had seen Sam in underwear several times this day.

Sam’s phone rang and Brooke peered at the screen. Nicole Julian? Nic? Why the hell would she call Sam?  
Sam entered the room just as the phone stopped ringing, carrying a set of plates and forks as well as two generic glasses.  
"Did you see who it was?" She asked Broke who was still standing next to the phone.  
"Nicole Julian" Brooke sat back down the plump chair "Are you two in contact?"  
Sam nodded "From time to time, yes". She sat down and poured wine into two glasses. "It might be difficult for you to understand but a lot happened between Nicole and me that you don't know" She sat down next to the blonde, the plates clacked loudly on the miniature table "Things that neither of us wanted to admit to anyone else"  
Brooke pointed at the carrier bag "You better have booze in there"  
She did. The restaurant’s house brand of knock off champagne, slightly too warm too be enjoyable and less dry than desirable.  
"Before we became high school rivals, Nicole and I were lovers" Sam’s revelation made Brooke choke on her drink "Excuse me?" Sam’s face looked completely serious.  
"For maybe two and a half years? I think. Once she really got into all that glamazon shit and became queen bitch of the world i called it quits. That’s why she had such a vendetta against me" Sam lit a cigarette, the first Brooke had seen her smoke all night.  
"She was fucking livid Brooke, you should have seen it" Sam grinned at the memory "We're on okay terms now, seems like she can forgive me easier when she isn't seeing me pine over another girl" Sam inhaled sharply and coughed from the sudden intake of smoke, she had meant to say something else.  
"Nicole can be a really jealous bitch sometimes" Brooke said neutrally but her eyes studied the other woman "So you're gay?"  
Sam was happy she had asked.  
"Yeah I am"  
"Cool"  
Sam was underwhelmed with the blondes response, but then again, to Brooke she was just her half sister, she wasn't Samantha McPherson Superstar! She was just Sam.  
The blonde suddenly started giggling "You know it’s funny really, if I had known you were gay back then I wouldn't have kept my crush so secret" She toasted her glass to Sams but the brunette was lost in thought again.  
"Sam?"  
She snapped back into attention, this was becoming a bad habit by now. "Sorry"  
Sam sipped her champagne to complete the toast "Who was your crush?"  
"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours" Damn her. The blonde looked smugly at Sam, legs crossed and her foot gently tapping the air from excitement. Sam laughed at her little trap and toasted the blonde again "I think that talk is better saved for later, lets have dessert"  
For once Sam seemed to have lost her nerve and sat absentmindedly fingering her glass, neither of them made any move to eat or pick up their conversation.  
Brooke suddenly felt awkward sitting in Sam’s room, her mind caught up in the possibilities. Sam was gay.  
She wasn't just gay, she was full on gay and had been for more than what? Ten years? The thought of how many times she had watched Sam while she was engrossed in a documentary or reading the latest indie classic, between her plump lips two rows of white even teeth glinting with moisture, when she wet her fingers to turn another page, the tongue had darted out like a kitten's, thin and pink, but the eyes never wavered from their steady back-and-forth rhythm.  
It was that fierce intensity that she had loved.  
The memory made her blush. Thoughts of Sam had been pushed to the furthest reaches of her brain where it wouldn't bother her, where it had been safe from scrutiny. No. The real reason she had been upset at Sam for leaving was because she abandoned her at the hospital and abandoned their family. That was it.  
Yet today Brooke had been forced to recognize those memories and her old feelings. Either way everything was still Sam’s fault, if she had stuck around Brooke would have had plenty of time to realize what she felt about Sam. Sam who chose Nicole over her.  
Like most other things that happened around that time Brooke found that revelation too damaging to delve into, granted Sam and Brooke didn't meet until high school, and even then it took more than a year for their rivalry to emerge. Sam and Nicole had never spoken in that time, Nicole never mentioned anything about knowing Sam from before high school, much less about having a lesbian relationship.  
Hadn't Nicole always been something of a man eater?  
"It’s kinda hard..." Brooke swallowed in a dry throat, "to imagine you and Nicole as a couple. She had a lot of boyfriends throughout that period"  
Sam nodded solemnly, "A few yeah, she was always very careful to keep her popular straight girl image... We both did that though, I was always so serious and bunched up, didn't want people to sexualize me or discredit my writing because I was gay"  
"It didn't bother you that she saw other people?"  
"It did, but I was too young to understand that I had a choice, that I could demand better. It would have been harder if she had treated me as disdainfully as she does with other people. I think I found it kind of fun actually, that she could be so cold, so aloof and untouchable, and yet when she was with me she was the complete opposite, her boyfriends never got that. There was a part of Nicole that was wholly mine"  
Hearing Sam speak fondly of Nicole made Brooke feel kind of vacant inside, there had been a thousand times in High school where she had wanted to tell Nicole about her feelings for Sam, to learn that her ex-best friend was so completely biased was kind of numbing. The confidence she had felt tonight was fast dissipating. Her stomach was writhing with envy, and worse she didn't know how to explain the shift in her mood to Sam without telling her the uncomfortable truth.  
Her discomfort must have shone through because Sam suddenly switched from fond reminiscence to telling more precisely, about the nature of their break up. Sam leaned forward and placed her hand on top of Brookes. Brooke stiffened a little "I think Nicole must have lost that gentle side after you broke up, or at least buried it deeply. When I first got to know her... when she was still with you she was a lot sweeter. Now I'm surprised really, that I didn't see what she had become until she left me there on the parking lot". Brooke fought back a tear her face turned from Sams. She didn't want to see the brunettes handsome features etched with guilt, the brunette reached out her hand and turned Brooke’s face. "Brooke... I am so sorry for what we did to you"  
"It wasn't you Sam"  
Sam looked away.  
"Yes... It was, Nicole wasn't looking where she was going because of me"  
Brookes head snapped away "You were there? But... Why? Why didn't anyone tell me? How could you do that to me Sam? After you saw her hit me you just drove away?"  
Sam’s head was hanging "I wanted to come back Brooke, I wanted to help you but Nicole didn't want anyone to know I was in her car, she wouldn't let me out to help you with people watching"  
The blonde looked furious "She wouldn't 'let you'? That's fucking rich coming from you, little miss inde-fucking-pending"  
"What was i supposed to do? Jump from a moving car?"  
"I would have for you! If you were hurt and bleeding on the ground there is nothing I wouldn't have done to help you, I would have moved fucking heaven and earth to save your life Sam! Instead you ran, packed your stupid bags and fled the country? Where you that ashamed of what you did to me or just scared I would find out it was you?" Brooke shouted, her face both furious and heartbroken.  
Sam’s breath hitched in her throat and she found her words gone, because Brooke was completely right. She had fled because of her shame, shame at loving a girl, cheating on that love, then nearly killing it forever through cowardice, ashamed and unable to lie about it.  
She didn't have any words to defend herself, she had tried, for a while to justify her actions by telling herself that it was better for their family, better because Brooke could never forgive her, and she shouldn't. There was no forgiveness, no loving embrace or there-there's, because it wasn't going to be okay between them. It hadn't been in highschool and it wouldn't be now.  
Brooke got her coat and left.  
Sam crossed the room to her desk and started typing. She knew she shouldn't have told Brooke, but that fucking sense of righteousness had gotten the best of her. Being the kind of person she was there was no option not to tell her, maybe that is why she had never contacted Brooke when she was in LA. Her big dumb mouth would get the best of her and out would come all those nasty secrets she had spent the better part of three years running from.  
Now the jig was up, Brooke knew how she had hurt her and hid the truth about it from everyone, how she, miss fucking righteousness had let Nicole take all the blame for Brooke’s accident and fled like a coward.  
Sam contemplated the backlash from running out of her contract with universal, they had time to find another actress, and she could afford it.  
She looked down at the letter she had written, it was addressed to Brooke, a full confession in all its nasty detail, with the added stab in the heart that was telling her how much she loved her, and how seeing her again had pushed all those feelings fully back into focus.  
She wouldn't send it of course, but having it in writing felt better than burying it.  
Sam’s phone vibrated, it was Nicole. She clicked the Accept button angrily.  
"Fuck you want?"  
"Prissy today aren't you? " Nicole retorted.  
"Did you want something?" Sam groaned, not quite in the mood for a battle.  
"Just wondering why you didn't tell me you're in, something happen?"  
"I just had dinner with Brooke"  
"Oh" Nicole paused, "I suppose you did the honourable thing and told her everything?" She sounded icy.  
"Just about us… how it was my fault too"  
"Well it must be a lot easier airing out our dirty laundry when you don't have the fucking guts to tell her about how long you pined for her... How noble of you Sam… Luckily Brooke and I haven't talked in years, you're the one stuck with this mess"  
"You don't think I know that?" Sam hissed.  
"If you had known anything you would have kept your big mouth shut wouldn't you sweetie?"  
"IF I'd known anything I would have stayed a mile away from you, don't call me ever again"  
Click


	4. Fallout

Brooke woke to the clinking of heavy bottles. One white and one red, a gift from a colleague, could have been Ronald but she wasn't sure just now.  
She still felt drunk and the sheets were cold and wet with the sweat of restless sleep. Her head felt like her heart had taken residence there, continuously pounding against her skull.  
Brooke didn't consider herself a sloppy drunk but the state of her suggested otherwise, her skin was oily from the lack of its normal night time cleansing routine and her clothes normally folded and placed on the appropriate chair or thrown into the clothes bin was lying halfway off the bed.  
The only other time Brooke had felt this out of sorts was when she woke at the hospital after Nicole, no, after Sam and Nicole had hit her, and maybe when she broke it off with Josh. There hadn't been any romantic love between them but he had been such a good friend, she had had to wiggle her way around the truth like a contortionist at the faire to break it off without telling him that she never really had any romantic feelings for him, or any man really. He had simply been the easy option and perhaps, something of an experiment. Since him there had been a few random encounters but nobody she really loved, not like... not like she had felt about Sam.

Brooke wanted to scream when she thought about Sam’s betrayal.

She wanted to scream and shake Sam, and ask her how she could have left her, if she ever even felt anything for her except what was asked of her as a step sister.  
She looked over at the digital alarm clock on her nightstand, it was nearly 11, she’d promised Roland she would be in around 10, guilt set her into motion and she dragged herself into the shower, brushing her teeth with sluggish motions. Wondering if she could afford to take the day off.

Roland was sitting at his desk, both screens displaying a spray of Sams pictures. The trash riddled floor around him revealed that he had been up all night editing.  
He gave her a once over, “You look like shit”  
“Thanks, right back at ya”  
He snickered, “Sam kept you up? Should have brought your camera”.  
She smacked the back of his head with her bag in reply.  
Couple of hours later they sent over the first proof.  
Their studio was shared with a few other photographers and together they paid for a secretary to take messages and bookings.  
The secretary poked her head in, “I have a client for a rush job, couple of headshots, nothing too fancy”.  
“Their set?”  
“Yup”  
“They have make up?”  
“I asked, said they had it covered”  
“I can finish this and mail you what you wanted for your portfolio” Roland said “Go make money” he waved his hands towards the door.  
She nodded, “Tell them I’m on my way”

Not a big fan of driving when hung over Brooke hailed a cab, Roland helped her with the equipment, in the elevator he hinted a couple of times that she could tell him if something was up, but Brooke stoically ignored it.  
Roland was a nice guy but in this particular case she was afraid that anything she told him might be pasted onto his blog or sprawled on the front page of the highest paying gossip rag.  
In the cab she sat turning her phone over and over again, before dialing Nicole Julian’s number, Nicole already knew and could obviously keep her mouth shut.  
Nobody answered.  
Brooke left a short message, asking Nicole to call her back, kinda hoping that she wouldn’t. 

The cab pulled into the given address and Brooke was kind of surprised to find herself climbing the steps to a rather imposing mansion, Brooke wasn’t a well renowned photographer at all, her normal clientele being highschool and college sports teams, weddings and other family occasions.  
The shoot yesterday had been a once in a lifetime opportunity, graciously given by Sam who had requested Brooke and only Brooke as her photographer while she was in town.  
The place oozed of money and expensive taste, Brooke found it kind of off putting, pretty but lacking character.  
She was less surprised when the client turned out to be a television psychiatrist, the kind that made millions coaching suckers on issues he spent less than a lunch break researching. The kind that peddled the most basic common denominator bullshit solutions he could think of, drilling mercilessly through a million overlapping facts and nuances to the heart of the issue. Without understanding that humans are in so many ways completely trivial, and that those deep seethed conflicts are and´always will be unavoidable. So often the only thing we can do is build our character broad, and bridge out across the clefts that separate us from other people, by understanding the very nature of that which divides us and by realizing why we perceive the small and insignificant to be so important. The thought made Brooke smile wryly as she rang the doorbell.  
This particular psychiatrist was exactly the kind Sam would have shook her head at before she switched the channel, then written a long winded article about fraudulent shrinks and so called life coaches being nothing more than scam artists.  
The shrink in question needed headshots for a book he’d written, normally his wife would do them but she had “clumsily dropped their camera the very same morning!” if Brooke would believe it, given the sheer volume of his voice and how it caused her to flinch several times, she did believe it. Luckily the whole ordeal took less than an hour, his wife dutifully applying makeup and combing her husbands hair to hide his receding hairline while Brooke prepared the lighting.  
The wife in question struck Brooke as a timid creature, totally opposite her boisterous and imposing husband, but she was very forthcoming and while her husband went about his business asked Brooke for tea.  
Their garden was well cared for and subtle in its beauty, the only part of the house that struck Brooke as being born from sincerity.  
Brooke expected there would be some sort of butler or maid to accompany such a house, but she never saw any and the wife prepared their tea herself. Brooke got the impression that she was rather lonely amongst all this grandeur but she was glad to have such an unusual experience to take her mind off things. The husband joined them briefly, drinking his scalding tea with enormous speed and excusing himself.  
As on cue the wife suddenly became very friendly and Brooke found herself flattered at the older woman’s sudden attempts at flirting but wholeheartedly uninterested in the prospect. 

Over the following month Brooke experienced a surge in interest for her work. For the first time since she had started her business her days were fully booked and the other photographers at her studio quite happy to take the overspill from less prestigious but completely honest clients. At all hours of the day Brooke found herself racing across town to keep up with her obligation to document the filming of Sam’s movie, catching their promotional events, and keeping her new rather exclusive personal client list from growing so long they would lose patience and find someone else.  
Brooke saw Sam often through her viewfinder but would meticulously avoid being in the same room as her whenever she could, and otherwise excuse herself from conversation by explaining that she was working when she could not. Sam did her best to hide her feelings at Brookes many rejections, until finally she stopped trying and let Brooke simple be one more face in the dim crowd behind the cameras.

Some five weeks after Sam’s return, Brooke once again found herself on familiar ground outside the old McMansion, Mike had invited her to celebrate MacKenzie’s 4th birthday, and had convinced her by explaining how happy he would be to have all three of his daughters under the same roof once more.  
Her hands trembled on the doorknob, her heart was beating a mile a minute.  
Brooke stepped inside the living room and for a moment felt her heart performing the irregular palpitations of shock, Sam was sitting with Mackenzie on her lap, her hair loose and face mostly free of makeup, she was chatting with Jane, while Mike held a tray with a french press and cups. 

Sam’s eyes snapped to Brookes, the conversation instantly dying.

The previous, more self absorbed Brooke would have realized they had been talking about her and gotten angry, but this particular Brooke didn’t say anything.  
In fact she did not do anything whatsoever. Seeing as she was quite occupied in that very moment with scrutinizing an intense feeling of nostalgia and the lingering effects that only the most sincere and powerful unrequited love leaves behind.  
In that moment every memory from the house passed through her like a gust of wind with the sharp edge of words long unsaid, and the heat of their unspoken desires.  
Sam got up, letting Mackenzie run to her mom and nearly knocking over Mike in the process. “Brooke, it’s so good to see you” Mike exclaimed, he looked tense. Jane accepted the tray from Mike and agreed with a smile but her eyes appeared quite sad.  
Sam looked like she didn’t know what to do with herself unsure if Brooke would even accept Sam approaching her.  
“Sam maybe you should help Brooke upstairs” Jade said, brushing Sam’s hand with her own.  
“Um, yeah” Sam tried really hard not to grimace, her eyes darted to Mike who nodded.  
The two of them walked silently upstairs, Sam some steps behind Brooke.

“I’m afraid Mackenzie has your room now but… Sorry that’s stupid of me, you know that of course” She opened her old bedroom door “We can talk in here, if you want”.  
Brooke wasn’t sure if she did.  
Neither of them knew how to open up the conversation, their former exchange seemed to occupy the room, leaving it devoid of those elements necessary for breath and speech.  
Brooke sat on Sam’s bed, mulling over her conflicting emotions, wondering why she didn’t hate Sam when she had so clearly broken every bit of trust between them.  
“Brooke, I don’t know what to do” Sam sighed, her eyes sought Brookes “I was a coward, I betrayed you as a sister and as a friend and...” Sam’s breath hitched and her hands gripped the desk “I told Mom and Mike everything, what happened, why I left… And I want you to know too, the whole truth”  
Brooke looked up, Sam found that she couldn’t meet her eyes anyway. Tears were quietly rolling down her face.  
“The truth is that I was so in love with you, I couldn’t be around you anymore. Then Nicole hit you… and I didn’t know what to do with myself, how to forgive what I did. I didn’t want you to ever know. I ran from it all, from my guilt, from my feelings. I wanted to escape to somewhere where I could pretend that I had nothing to do with it, that it never happened” Sam’s voice was raw with emotion, her fingers white from gripping the table  
Brooke got to her feet, her brow furrowed. Her voice shook with pent up frustration.  
“You’re right about being a coward then” She crossed the distance between them, unbuttoning her shirt, and turning sideways, so Sam could see the long scar that ran from her ribs to her hip, several other white and pink spots were thick from scar tissue, “You see these scars Sam?” Brooke’s hand shot up, cupping the other girls chin, forcing the brunette to look at her body. “Do you see them Sam?”  
Sam nodded.  
“You helped do this. These are on your conscience and you can never run away from that” Brooke took Sam’s hand and forced back her own tears “I would have done anything to have had you there while I was recovering. You could have made amends! We could have been together Sam!”

“I don’t understand how you can even be near me now, much less back then. Nicole would have fucking killed me if I had told you about it Brooke” Sam wiped at her tears “You didn’t deserve to be tangled up in our mess”  
“Life isn’t just about what we deserve Sam, you know that. Things happen, we hurt people, we let others hurt us. Don’t you understand? Even that would have been better. Do you know how many times I wanted you to come home after what happened to you overseas? How I wanted to comfort and hold you even though you hurt me so much.” Brooke stroked Sam’s cheek gently wiping the tears away.  
“How can I forget the pain of your absence when you don’t even understand how much more that hurt than anything else you did? When I looked at you the day of the shoot, I saw so much pain inside you. It doesn’t make me happy to think that I’m the cause of that” Brooke’s face was grim but honest.  
“I’m really sorry about everything. Brooke, I should have been there for you”  
“You did, but you given me closure Sam, I always thought things weren’t quite adding up you know? I’m glad that you told me everything... You have no idea how hard it was for me that night, hearing you were leaving and then waking up without you there. No note no nothing. I spend so many nights wondering about where you were” She pulled Brooke into a tight hug.  
“Mom used to beg me to call you, said you pestered her day and night. I always thought Nicole ratted me out and you couldn’t wait to accuse me of what I did”.  
Brooke frowned.  
“Sam. I had to let that vindictive part of me die forever, it was the only way to deal with Nicole, and to forgive you for leaving like that”

“You still seem pretty mad though”  
Brooke smiled wryly, “I am mad Sam. I’m mad at Nicole for going behind me back, I’m mad at you for what you did, and I’m mad at myself for not telling you how I feel before any of this happened”.  
Sam cocked an eyebrow.  
“None of this would have happened if I had the guts to say what I really wanted to say that night at prom” Brooke felt the other girl go rigid in her embrace and released her, “I hate you your cowardice but… I don’t know, nobody is perfect. I didn’t exactly give you many reason to stay or...” 

Brooke swallowed, her throat felt dry and tight “I am so utterly and completely in love with you Sam, and I think that I have been since the first time I saw you” Brooke was interrupted by Sam as she crashed her lips into the photographers in a fierce kiss, her arms holding Brooke tight against her.  
“I’m so sorry Brooke. I’m so sorry” She murmured again and again into the other girl’s lips.

Downstairs Mike was setting the table “It has certainly gotten quiet up there all of a sudden” he said, flashing Jane a boyish smirk. She swatted his arm with a potholder, but her smile was warm, “I just don’t know how we will explain this at the next family gathering... I hope they are making some sort of plan”.  
Mike laughed heartily “Those two with a plan? That would be the shock of the day” He hugged Jane “I’m just happy our family is back together”  
“Me too” Said Jane “I always wondered what was with them, I guess we didn’t give them much of a chance to uncomplicate things, making them stepsisters and all”  
Mike nodded “I’m glad they are working it out”  
“Or they killed each other” She quipped.  
He looked worried for a minute, “Should I check on them?”  
“Better not, whatever has happened they better sort it out themselves. Although… Dinner is ready”.

Mike and Jane listened very intently outside Sam’s bedroom door, for any sign that they better make themselves scarce before knocking. “Come in” Sam called.  
The girls looked pretty embarrassed at the intrusion, but they were clothed and didn’t object to Mike and Jane embracing them, telling them that whatever they wanted to do, it would be alright with them.  
Jonathan picked them up around eleven, Brooke didn’t ask Sam in, but whispered in her ear to take her out on a proper date as soon as possible. They kissed briefly.  
The towncar quietly rolled down the street, inside it Sam was picking through her contacts, when she reached Nicole Julian she deleted it.  
She wasn’t quite sure if she had ever felt this relieved before, or this excited to be back home.

Staring into the mild evening sky, with so many satellites posing as stars, and that gentle purple haze spreading from the descending sun. Brooke felt happier than she had in three years.  
No.  
Brooke felt happier than she ever had before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In chapter one I foolishly written as if a professional photographer in 2000-2001 would really use digital cameras. It was a historical error but not so gross I will rewrite it. Hence I decided to roll with it and pretend that digital photography/editing was a little head of its time or Brooke could afford to be on the forefront of that particular technology. Since it isn’t essential to the story at all I hope you will bear with me.  
> Thank you so much for reading this little story. I hope you derived just a little enjoyment for it, because it certainly was something of an emotional rollercoaster to write.  
> Having never finished a piece of work beyond a two page story, I don’t think I realized how much thought goes into every word, and how deeply you need to feel the emotions of your characters. I am sorry for the impossible role I put Sam in here, it did not properly reflect that she is by far my favourite. In retrospect I made her life seem kind of wonderful, I would have liked to emphasize how much leaving Brooke and experiencing the tragedy of a mass murder in Pakistan scarred her, but I failed. Another time maybe?
> 
> If you are super depressed nothing smutty ever happened. Check out my other story First Beat.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [First Beat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6561160) by [Crazycatlady89](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazycatlady89/pseuds/Crazycatlady89)




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